the epiphany of epiphany

january first should not be new year's day.

originally the roman calendar had the year begin on the day of the spring equinox. makes sense: equal amounts of dark and light, spring is a good time for a fresh start. then all this math and star stuff happened that I don't really understand and things got out of whack and someone had to pick a day and january won because caesar thought it was cool that janus was the god of new beginnings and january was his month. plus janus has two faces so he can look forward and backward at the same time, which is kind of neat.

I really like new year's. I like the idea of fresh starts and setting intentions. I like champagne and fireworks. but I think the sentiment is badly timed, stuck in there a week after christmas, signaling the end of the season, rushing me into decision making and back to regular life. I want to linger a bit and new year's feels so demanding somehow: resolve something! celebrate starting over! now back to work!

I was grumpy on my way to church yesterday. this happens far more often than I care to admit. I like church, I like being there, I like having gone, but I do not like getting ready on sunday mornings. and I was feeling the christmas letdown, bummed that I had missed some of my favorite parts of the season because we were sick or rushed or forgot. and now sunday school was starting back, real school starting the next day, calendar blocks filling up in january much faster than I like.

we walked into the sanctuary and it is still christmas there. the greenery is up, the candles still everywhere, the creche is displayed, the magi are one windowsill closer to the front. we sang carols, and the altar still sported its red and green with pride. poinsettias abundant.

the liturgical calendar says we get to keep christmas around until epiphany. today is only day eleven of the twelve. we're only up to the pipers piping for those of you singing along. we still have some stargazing to do before the magi get here. let's not rush things.

the sermon yesterday leaped a bit ahead in the story to where the little holy family flees to egypt because, you know, people wanted to kill their son. the pastor reminded us that the duty of all religious people should be to make the world a suitable place for children. I keep rolling that idea around and around in my head. what would it look like if we all were striving to make the world suitable for children? would we care more about environmental issues? would we spend more time outside? would we be gentler with our words because there might always be a child in earshot? would we turn off the gruesome news or maybe stop treating each other so gruesomely? would we choose our leaders differently? would we spend our time differently?

my word for 2015 is harbor. I want to create safe spaces. for my family, for my children, for myself. for you. for yours. for the ones I haven't met yet. I want to be mindful of what I am harboring in my heart. resentment? fear? joy? gratitude? and my first harbor assignment is to keep christmas here for one more day. to listen closely til I hear those twelve drummers drumming. to stargaze. to savor the last few drops of this season. here is my safe space. at least until the next epiphany comes tomorrow.