week in review

things to be glad about

sunsets on the drive home::care packages, complete with silly jokes on the name labels::potlucks full of people I'd like to know better::a happy, centered husband::holding hands in church::road trips with old friends::novel after novel after novel to read (I love our little library!)::invisibilia is my new serial::a gift from abroad::a new vegan cookbook::sunday school class that makes me think and feeds my heart::wearing kitra on my chest::realizing spring is only two months away::my new sink stand in the yard::reading books side by side in bed at night::sunshine!::rabbit making cookies::jamin and cora quoting lion king to each other::carpooling to school::bogo sushi::new socks::


things I've read

mr.penumbra's 24 hour books store: good read. funny, exciting, total nerd fest. and the last page is a great take away.

map of true places: very good, but heavy. I had to put the book down and walk away for a few minutes at least twice, and that doesn't happen to me very often.

magician's assistant: I love ann patchett, but the ending on this one was terrible. I mean really lame. not my favorite of hers. but still beautifully written. and I didn't guess the storyline, so that is always nice.

our favorite jam

jamin and i sing this one together like nobody's business.


moments worth remembering

prepping for a birthday video for our friend maeve. one of our better family photos, I'd say.

a still shot from that bday video. we are fun people, for real.

jigsaw puzzle before breakfast. daily. this kid wakes up ready to go.

eric + kitra = ultimate cuteness

these two boys make my heart the happiest. best friends since the moment they met at age 2, no lie.

children's museum in greenville come highly recommended by this crew.

words for the week

free for all

so if your goal is to live more simply, figuring out the financial side of homesteading is a big step. homesteading takes a lot of dedicated time (especially when you're just getting started) and that may mean a dip in income for your family. wouldn't it be nice if you could just get some of the stuff (and labor and tools and expertise) you need for free? I am here to tell you there is more out there for free than you can use. truly! you just need to know where to look, who to ask, and how to get it.

here's my disclaimer on getting stuff for free: I am not about stealing. if it isn't yours and you are not sure about taking it, then don't. or ask first. this goes for stuff from businesses and corporations, too. I think it is a travesty that grocery stores and restaurants throw so much food away. seriously pathetic and sad. but if there is a lock on a dumpster, that mess is not up for grabs, case closed. as much as I want to flip the system my middle finger on a regular basis, I don't really think that's the best way to solve the problem. I think it is much more effective to ask your local grocery store how they handle expired food instead of getting arrested for stealing trash. let's work on starting dialogue in the light of day rather than sneaking around in the dark of night. same goes with neighbors and friends and family members. be careful not to be so focused on your goal that you damage relationships or give yourself a reputation as a mooch. totally not worth it in the long run, trust me.

1-look: odds are good you are surrounded by stuff for the taking and you don't even know it. our bank keeps a big bowl of matches printed with their logo on the counter where you fill out your deposit ticket. I take a book every time I'm there. we never buy matches. I snag samples of shampoo and soap when I see them, too. eric came home with a ninety pound pumpkin a few weeks ago. he'd spotted it on the side of the road for trash pick up, a leftover from someone's autumnal decor I suppose. he opened up the back of the car and shoved it off down the hill into the chicken coop: free snacks for the ladies. freebies abound, right there in plain sight, if you know how to look for them.

chickens chowing down on free pulp from a friend's juice business

 2-ask: if someone has a skill or a tool you'd like to make use of, ask that someone for help. people are generally pretty generous, I've found. that someone may not have known that skill you admire in then is something of value to other people. people like to be asked for help. it makes us feel like contributors, but it is also flattering to be thought of as someone with something to offer. just be prepared to respect boundaries if someone says no to your request. a relationship worth having is not worth losing just because someone isn't able to help you the way you think they should. ask for discounts or donations, too! lots of businesses would be glad to offer you a discount on bulk orders or donate a fruit tray to your kid's class party. if there is a company or product you really love supporting, email and ask for coupons or free samples. you never know until you ask!

our compost bins (made mostly from free pallets) doubles as a jungle gym, apparently :)

3-accept: it can be hard to accept stuff for free sometimes. we want to think we can do it all ourselves. it is a cultural value, really, that fierce american independence to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. but if someone is offering you assistance, odds are good it is not that they think you incapable or incompetent, but that they truly do just want to help. and help doesn't have to be a tit-for-tat trade system. let others be kind to you without trying to repay or keep score. it can be hard to accept free help, but you gotta be the change you want to see on this one. it'll come back around, I promise. you'll have your chance to be that help to someone else before you know it. and if you always refuse those offers of help, then eventually the offers dry up.

4-lower your standards: I want a vitamix so so badly. oh the smoothies I would make, the soups I would puree, the healthy glow I would have if only I had a vitamix on my kitchen counter. it ain't gonna happen, at least not anytime soon. and you know what? life will continue, pleasantly even. think about what you want (or need) and decide if maybe there is a different solution. it may not be perfect, but could you make something else work?

jamin made himself a SORRY! game board instead of buying one.

5-offer: you never know until you put yourself out there. if you have a skill you know would serve a neighbor well, offer yourself up as part of a trade. you could split wood for someone who can't do it himself in exchange for a portion of the wood you chop. offer up a childcare swap or a carpool ride or pet-sitting duties. offer your tools, your time, and your talents and folks will generally be pleased to reciprocate.

6-get to work: do you love designer handbags? then look for a part time gig at a store that offers an employee discount. jobs with kickbacks rock. lots of places offer the employee discounts even to part time and seasonal workers. even if you only work at your local health food store twice a month, keeping that 15% discount on groceries might make it worth it. small, local businesses tend to be more likely to offer cool perks to employees, so think about what you'd love to have for free and explore your options on employment. same goes for classes you want to take or an internship you'd like to have: if you offer a work trade, folks might be eager to let you take yoga for free or attend a goat birthing workshop for a discount.

7-be patient: good things come to those who wait. if you can't find what you want for free, just wait it out. one of three things will happen: you won't want it anymore, your heart's desire (or a suitable substitute) will fall into your lap, or you'll save up enough to purchase whatever it is you wanted. any of those three is a pretty good solution.

intro to mudflower 101

 so who are we anyway, this family rain has talked about and invited to share her blogspace? that is an excellent question, one I am trying to answer on a day-to-day basis, and I live with us every day! so here is an attempt at a brief summary, but really we (along with you and everyone else) defy descriptive  paragraphs.

this is wendy. wendy grew up in suburbia where she was band geek and a jesus freak. wendy went to college, majored in english, and quickly got a job in social services and never looked back. wendy loves reading, swimming, singing, writing, hiking, thinking, and compost.









this is eric. eric spent his childhood in florida. he would love to tell you he's "from the 'hood" (in fact, odds are good if he knows you that he has already mentioned this in conversation), but it simply isn't true. eric discovered the north carolina mountains on a spring break trip to visit a friend in college and knew it was where he wanted to be. he and wendy attended appalachian state university for four overlapping years and never met each other. eric majored in history, but his first job out of college was at a year-round halloween costume store. he later settled into working with behaviorally challenged kids in mainstream classrooms and started gardening to balance his life and mental health. eric loves his yard, good hiphop, playing basketball, making lists, being outside, and getting dirty.





eric and wendy met in asheville in 2004. it is a great story, best told over beers and chips and salsa. you should hear it sometime. a year later after a backpacking trip in the grand tetons, they decided to raise a foster kid together. a year after that they got married. they worked together in a residential group home, spending lots of time with kids lots of other people had given up on. it led to lots of deep conversations about parenting, lifestyle choices, diet and nutrition, relationships, and a biological kid of their own. good stuff.

this is jamin. jamin is six. jamin lived with his crazy parents in a residential group home for a while, then his crazy parents dragged him off to calgary, alberta for a while to work in another residential group home. after deciding that living in a city that big (with no yard and no compost pile!) just wasn't for them, jamin's parents turned around and came back to the NC mountains. and had another baby. jamin loves legos, settlers of catan, mystery books, drawing and chickens.








this is cora. cora is four. cora was born at home back in asheville after the canadian adventure. cora's family went back to the group home for a little while, but it really wasn't the best fit anymore. so instead they decided to try fostering again. after a move to brevard, out in the country to try all the things they'd always wanted to try (or at least all the things they could get their landlord to say yes to), this happy family of five settled into homesteading life. cora loves babies, chickens, turtles, sparkly things, and pretending she's a duck.

this is mudflower, the happy little homestead in a sweet little intentional community on the top of a mountain just outside brevard. gosh, does this family love it here.












so wendy learned to make laundry detergent and yogurt (and she learned not to try to make both at the same time) and eric got his hands dirty in the yard. they got some chickens, hung a clothesline, planted fruit trees, dug some beds. the foster kid moved on, the manners dug in. wendy's wanderlust tapped gently at her heart, and eric's connection to this plot of land grew stronger. when an opportunity for a summer on an island in new york came up, the manners answered the call. eric would WWOOF at a big historical farm, wendy would work at a summer camp from her college days, kids would frolic on the beach and soak it all up. but who could live at mudflower while they were gone? homesteads don't just run themselves.  someone has to eat all those blueberries.

this is rabbit. rabbit lived at mudflower while the manners took off on their grand northeastern adventure. and she lives here still. rabbit works with families of children birth to five at a non-profit in town. she is very good at her job. rabbit loves puzzles, board games, reading, spatial thinking projects, cooking, and sewing. and she makes the best popcorn in the world. rabbit just had a baby last month.

this is kitra, rabbit's newest project. kitra is super super cute and super super loved. so far it is kind of hard to tell what kitra like best, but eating and bouncing and cora are very high on the list.

(right now mudflower has a special guest. rabbit's mom is visiting from maui to soak up the goodness kitra is radiating. it makes up for the colder temperatures.)



we've got some chickens and some berry bushes and some big dreams. our biggest goal is to keep the pace of our lives slow enough to enjoy these kiddos and teach them where their food comes from and how to grow it themselves. we try hard to practice what we preach, not only when it comes to living a simple, low-impact life, but also in doing the hard work life in community requires. wendy teaches classes on parenting, relationships, and making this homesteading life work for families. we barter a lot. we play a lot of cards and board games. we eat a lot of popcorn (but only when rabbit is willing to make it. she does it best.) we are figuring life out as we go.

anytime someone asks eric how he's doing his automatic answer is "living the dream." I think that pretty much sums up life at mudlfower: living the dream, and dreaming bigger every day.

the epiphany of epiphany

january first should not be new year's day.

originally the roman calendar had the year begin on the day of the spring equinox. makes sense: equal amounts of dark and light, spring is a good time for a fresh start. then all this math and star stuff happened that I don't really understand and things got out of whack and someone had to pick a day and january won because caesar thought it was cool that janus was the god of new beginnings and january was his month. plus janus has two faces so he can look forward and backward at the same time, which is kind of neat.

I really like new year's. I like the idea of fresh starts and setting intentions. I like champagne and fireworks. but I think the sentiment is badly timed, stuck in there a week after christmas, signaling the end of the season, rushing me into decision making and back to regular life. I want to linger a bit and new year's feels so demanding somehow: resolve something! celebrate starting over! now back to work!

I was grumpy on my way to church yesterday. this happens far more often than I care to admit. I like church, I like being there, I like having gone, but I do not like getting ready on sunday mornings. and I was feeling the christmas letdown, bummed that I had missed some of my favorite parts of the season because we were sick or rushed or forgot. and now sunday school was starting back, real school starting the next day, calendar blocks filling up in january much faster than I like.

we walked into the sanctuary and it is still christmas there. the greenery is up, the candles still everywhere, the creche is displayed, the magi are one windowsill closer to the front. we sang carols, and the altar still sported its red and green with pride. poinsettias abundant.

the liturgical calendar says we get to keep christmas around until epiphany. today is only day eleven of the twelve. we're only up to the pipers piping for those of you singing along. we still have some stargazing to do before the magi get here. let's not rush things.

the sermon yesterday leaped a bit ahead in the story to where the little holy family flees to egypt because, you know, people wanted to kill their son. the pastor reminded us that the duty of all religious people should be to make the world a suitable place for children. I keep rolling that idea around and around in my head. what would it look like if we all were striving to make the world suitable for children? would we care more about environmental issues? would we spend more time outside? would we be gentler with our words because there might always be a child in earshot? would we turn off the gruesome news or maybe stop treating each other so gruesomely? would we choose our leaders differently? would we spend our time differently?

my word for 2015 is harbor. I want to create safe spaces. for my family, for my children, for myself. for you. for yours. for the ones I haven't met yet. I want to be mindful of what I am harboring in my heart. resentment? fear? joy? gratitude? and my first harbor assignment is to keep christmas here for one more day. to listen closely til I hear those twelve drummers drumming. to stargaze. to savor the last few drops of this season. here is my safe space. at least until the next epiphany comes tomorrow.