9/11 from here

this time last year my mom asked me to write about my memories of september 11, 2001. thought I'd share it here as well.

On September 11, 2001 I had ringworm on my boob.  I had gone swimming at elk falls over the weekend with jeremy and amanda and heather, an odd mix of friends, but we had a really good time together.  I jumped off a really tall rock (the only girl on the trip to do it), and I have some super silly pictures from that day.  but in all that wild mountain water I picked up a parasite and I got up early on tuesday morning to hit the imfirmary before class.  after a quick diagnosis and a tube of jock-itch cream, I headed down to get something to eat before class.  the televisions in the student union were all showing the same thing, planes and buildings and flames, and I was there at just the right moment to watch people realize that it wasn't some clip from an action movie (which was what I thought initially) and flock over for a closer look.  I stayed long enough to get an idea of what was happening then headed outside to get away from the quickly growing crowd.  I walked out across the mall, and a group was just forming a circle to pray.  I grabbed a hand, thinking of bethy and greg and being so very aware that I was in new york less than a month before, wondering what this event was really all about and what it really meant to me as a person in north carolina, to my friends so much closer geographically, and to all of us, a generation to know so little about war in our own lives.  I stood and held hands with people I didn't know, praying without being sure what for, feeling sad without a clear direction for that sadness. 

 

I left my place in the circle to go to class, not even thinking that class might be cancelled.  lots of people weren't there, and my professor just sat, didn't get up to lecture, didn't make motions to start discussion, just sat.  he talked some about what we were all thinking about, even as ambiguous as it all was at that point.  he finally said, "all I really want to do is go hold my kids, so that's what I'm going to do."  he left to pull his kids out of school, which I think of often now that I am a parent.  I can't even remember his name, but I think of him whenever I am worried to the point of needing to just be with people I love most, especially eric and jamin and cora, to know that those people are safe and with me and close enough to touch.

 

my next class had an exam scheduled, and I went, assuming it would be cancelled.  as the day went on we knew more about what official people thought was happening, what we thought was happening next, but even that really meant little.  it was a beautiful day, just a hint of fall and blue blue mountain skies.  when I got to my next class (I don't remember that professor's name either), my professor assured us we would be taking our exam today.  we couldn't let the bad guys win, he said.  life had to go on.  it was a social psychology class, rather fitting, I guess, to have an exam in the midst of social trauma, just to prove a point if nothing else.  more than half the class wasn't there, but the rest of us focused in and took our test.

 

I don't remember many of the specifics about the rest of the day.  I remember being at work at media services when the news decided to stop showing the actual crash.  the most vivid image from television that I have was all the paper blowing out of the buildings, just massive amounts of paper everywhere, no end in sight.  for some reason that image has stuck with me more than people running and screaming, more than the plane crashing.  when I think of 9/11 I just see all that paper flying everywhere.  I remember later calling you and dad, trying for hours to get up with bethy and greg and lauren, lines being busy over and over again.  bethy said she could see smoke from where she was, just an hour away from the city.  someone's brother had had a job interview in on of the towers just the day before.  we had a staff meeting to make sure we were checking in with our residents, that we were available for counseling if needed, that counseling was available to us if needed.  it was a strange time for me.  my senior year had just started, I had just gotten back from new york, I was reeling from all that had happened that summer, good and not so good, dealing with lots of hurt that I didn't know where to put.  now the whole world was falling apart.

 

I remember all the bumper stickers about american pride popping up, flags everywhere for about two weeks.  I wasn't much of a news follower, so lots of my information came just from general discussion or general assumption.  I got real tired real quick of the "put a boot in their ass, it's the american way" mentality.  it was a time that I was already really exploring what it meant to be a christian in america, and this point in history was an especailly poigniant time to explore that perspective.  it was pretty disappointing to see how vindictive people who were supposed to be "turning the other cheek" could be, especially our leaders. 

 

those are my clearest snapshots.  not sure if that is what you were looking for, but it was kind of neat to think about that specific period with enough distance not to be too rattled by it.  thanks for the assignment.