i. when I was a kid in the dark ages before cell phones my parents had CB radios in their cars. my dad drove a little blue nissan truck that he had to fold his tall body into like an accordion. my mom drove a minivan. it was blue with a woodgrain panel running along the side. when we were in the car headed home after school or swim practice my mom would put out the call to my dad: “break, one-seven. how ‘bout cha rabbit dog, how ‘bout that one rabbit dog—you by the channel?” truckers would often answer her, surprised I suppose to hear a woman on their air waves, and she would talk to them too: “looking only for the rabbit dog. and I will remind you there are little ears on this channel, so thank you kindly for your consideration.” they would apologize and behave themselves and my dad would eventually answer “this is the rabbit dog. go ahead, little rabbit. what is your ten-twenty?” after all that preliminary action, he would ask to talk to me or my sister, bunny puppy number one and bunny puppy number two. we would grab hold of that speaker with the long curly cord and tell the rabbit dog what we had for lunch or sing him songs we’d learned at school. I am sure the truckers loved all that, too. we were the only family I knew who communicated by CB radio. no one has called me bunny puppy in a long long time.
ii. on the last day of every month we remind each other before we go to bed: “don’t forget to say rabbit rabbit when you wake up!” of course january first is an extra important rabbit rabbit since it starts the year as well as the month. who wouldn’t want a little extra luck going into a new year? I usually whisper my rabbit rabbit into the dark when I get up to let the cat out or someone calls from the other room to be covered up. jamin generally remembers on his own. but this time around cora made an executive decision for herself: “I’m not trying to say rabbit rabbit this time. I mean, if I get it, it is okay but I am not going to worry. it can be a good month anyway.” so wise, so willing to make her own luck. so ready to fight tradition and make her own way. she said it anyway yesterday morning. but she then reminded us she wasn’t worried about it. wisdom in five-year-old form.
iii. rabbit and kitra are home from hawaii. there were good things about being a household of four for two weeks, but it feels right to be full around here again, too. my kids are convinced that only rabbit can help them with certain projects, so jamin had been saving a jigsaw puzzle he got at a white elephant party and cora has a sewing craft that she is convinced only rabbit can help with. I wonder how they will remember this time, what their relationship with kitra will be like years from now. I wonder if they will always feel best in a house full of people or if they will live alone for years to make up for it. either way I feel sure jamin will have a puzzle table set up and cora will have a sewing machine on the ready and they’ll tell stories about how they lived with rabbit growing up, no not an animal a person named rabbit, and she taught us to eat with chopsticks and she made the best miso ever and she made our halloween costumes every year and she drove a little green car named mossy.
iv. andrew, eric’s brother, is raising rabbits. he’s been talking about it for weeks now and a few days ago he struck up conversation with someone in the tractor supply parking lot (the guy was buying rabbit feed, so it was a logical leap) and of course because this is brevard the guy invited andrew to his house to see his set up and offered to be his mentor and sent him home with three tiny rabbits. we’ve held them and snuggled them and tried to ignore the idea that they’ll be stew in a few weeks. these rabbits more than anything say that andrew is here to stay. the kids love seeing him so often. cora climbs all over him the second he walks in the door. “I like having an uncle,” she says, “especially that it is andrew.” jamin loves the games andrew makes up and looks for loopholes in every imaginary rule. it takes jamin longer to warm up, but “wrestle maniac” has helped to break down those hesitancies. now jamin leans into andrew when they sit together on the couch and that lean is just as loving as cora’s acrobatic affections.
v. I went back to yoga for the first time in maybe eight months or so. they are offering a thirty day challenge, and I can rarely pass up an opportunity with the word “challenge” in the name, so I got myself into the hot room last night. it amazes me what my body remembers. and because my body already knew just want to do, focusing my mind seemed much more possible. “let us begin again,” the teacher said between postures. it was upside down in rabbit pose that I heard it best: there is nothing left to do except uncurl and do it again. my word for 2016 is wide. wide open, wide eyed, wide enough to begin again. wide perspective, wide love, wide arms. wide enough for possibility. wide enough to explore. wide enough to be welcoming. wide for forgiveness, wide for adventure, wide for mistakes, wide for recovery. wide to try something new. wide enough to hold more than one idea at a time. wide for new territory. wide enough to see what happens.
